Practical Relational Leadership through Authentic Relating is a deep-dive into Circling within the Authentic Relating tradition. We meet over zoom in a small group (6 people) for 2 hours x 4 consecutive weeks.
The course is free, if you meet the requirements below. In this first pilot version of the course, the audio (not video) of the context-setting (lecture / presentation part) will be recorded and used for training purposes. You must agree to this to be part of the pilot.
Structure and goals of the course
Circling within the Authentic Relating tradition is a presence practice. “Presence” is a way of being and an attitude towards life and towards other people. Presence is non-verbal (it’s the act and the felt-experience of being emotionally available to another person) and it cannot be faked; however it is rendered much more powerful by learning and applying the structures of effective emotional communication. Circling courses normally don’t teach this, they expect you to learn by modeling “presence” (Circling cannot be taught, exactly, it can only be modeled). In this course you will formally learn, through lecture and practice, the structures of effective emotional communication. To note, that hardly anyone is currently doing this, teaching the structures of good emotional communication. You do learn this in NVC (Non-Violent Communication), but my work extends NVC in various ways. More info on this in Relational Power, Chapter 2.
80% of the course will be experiential. We will simply drop-in together and explore what is alive in the space, communicating our thoughts and feelings with truth and care (similar to other Circling courses) and unpacking / revealing our personal challenges in so doing. We will know that we are doing this effectively, by how much fun we are having together. We will also know that we are doing this effectively, by the results we are generating between-classes with the people in our environment.
20% of the course will either be direct instruction in the form of lecture / presentation, or else my naming what I see happening in the field and coaching / suggesting ways to make it better.
The fundamental goals and context of the course are as described in the book, Relational Power. The goal here is to start winning in all your relationships. How to make people want to be your friend and hang-out with you, while being authentically you. Ultimately, the goal is to end affective, intellectual and sexual scarcity, not just for you (should that be the case), but for all the people that you touch and people in your sphere of influence.
As told in the book, it is highly probable that this skill will be monetizable by you (given that in a highly connected and inter-related world, the skills of relational leadership are very useful in business). However the immediate goal is not monetization, but relational value-added, harmony and clarity and fun with the people around you, and happiness. This course is a training on becoming an effective relational leader.
In addition to winning with the people in you environment, the course will teach you various types of events that you can bring to your community and lead people into fun, depth and connection. See below.
All of this probably won’t happen in your first 4 weeks (it took me 40 years). Relational leadership is a lifelong game. However, a little bit of good emotional communication (which includes kindness, humility, empathy/appreciation, and what we call “own your experience”) goes a very long way. You should get from this course, the basic information to get you started. If all goes well, once you get started you will never stop. It will just keep on getting better.
Follow-up to the course
As follow-up to the course, I strongly encourage you to start a weekly Authentic Relating circle with your friends and/or business associates. This is THE single most powerful relational developmental practice that you can do.
Depending on the need and how much success you are having (or not) in relational leadership, we may extend the course another 4 weeks (to 8 weeks total).
What you can do with this course, practically
- You will acquire the skill and learn the structure for starting a private Authentic Relating circle with your friends or business associates.
- You will learn to skillfully lead both organic circles in my style, and focus circles.
- I will teach you some basic Authentic relating games (hot seats and withholds) that you can use to lead connection-focused events for meetups, churches, or community organizations that you belong to.
- In partnership with my friend David Garrison in Austin, we may teach you an A/R event format called Open Mic Playground that is a kind of Authentic relating creativity / self-expression workshop that you can bring to your community.
- There may be income opportunities by running a city franchise for the Conscious Singles project.
- Some experience in Circling. If you have never circled before, please attend one of the free introductions to Circling conducted by The Relateful Company (previously CircleAnywhere). I will likely join you.
- Experience in NVC is highly desirable. NVC is a pre-cursor to Circling and teaches the language of feelings and needs, which is necessary to know in order to Circle effectively.
- You must have read (or listened to) my latest book Relational Power: Make Friends, Influence Others, and Foster Connection Through the Practice of Authentic Relating and left an Amazon review
- A willingness to go deep, as in all Circling.
- This is a leadership training course. People who express an interest in leading Authentic relating in their community, either formally or informally (“Authentic Relating on the street”) will be given preference.
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