“You don’t need to get what you want if you can express what you want” – Strephon Kaplan-Williams
Summary of the Asheville Leadership Development Circle, with Marco and Scott, which starts Monday Feb. 8
Scott and Marco are forming an ongoing, private, invitation-only Circling Mastermind beginning Monday Feb. 8, 7-9pm via Zoom. This group is designed for people in Asheville who are in some kind of community leadership role, to connect and deepen their relational skills, and become masterful with the practice of Circling.
The initial commitment is to 4 weeks. You will renew your commitment (or not) monthly. The fee is $60/mth ($15/session).
What is the purpose of Circling Masterminds (DC)?
To make deep changes in our lives, and to grow in wisdom and discernment as relational leaders, we need ongoing support from people who know us. If you are reading this, you probably know that Authentic Relating practices are extremely powerful for creating connection, and from there transformation. The problem, is that authenticity is scary and A/R can be triggering. Ironically, it is by moving through the inevitable triggers and metabolizing those lessons, that real growth is achieved.
Circling Masterminds (DC) happens in small, closed groups of people who are committed to their own development, and to the development of the group as a whole. It is also (usually) very fun.
For a high-level description of DC and the different processes, see here.
About the group leaders
Marco has been leading private circles for 4 years, and has 4 other ongoing circles now, including a men’s group that is in its 4th year.
Scott has been Circling since the very early days. He was on the leadership team of the Arete Center for Excellence, which was the precursor to Guy Sengstock’s Circling Institute, and the East Coast version of Arete which was called The New York Tribe. He is the founder the Spirit of Man 3-day wilderness retreat for men. For the past decade he has been working as a Nature Connection Mentor with Sassafras Earth Education in Massachussetts, and Forest Floor Wilderness Programs in Asheville.
- Meetings are weekly for 90-120 minutes (depending on the size of the group), and are limited to 6-12 people plus the leaders. With more than 6 people we breakout.
- DC happens in closed, committed, invitation-only groups. At the beginning of each month you will be asked to renew your commitment to 4 sessions, or not. We don’t accept drop-ins.
- You should not join if you cannot commit to participating in most of the sessions. One-off absences are okay, but please communicate.
- We more-or-less follow the same process of Circling Masterminds every time, which is described here. With that caveat, our goal is to be responsive to varying group and individual needs and encourage feedback and group decision-making.
“Trust that people move towards wholeness, and we just have to follow” — Alexis Shepperd
“You will always outlive my concept of you. And I will always have a concept for you to outlive” — Guy Sengstock, founder of Circling
DC inherits all the principles and practices of traditional circling, except that we pay more attention to time constraints, we ask for everyone’s voice in each round (specifically in check-ins, the aliveness round, and check-outs), and we encourage the exploration of developmental goals, be they personal or business-related.
- We make the best attempt possible to show up with truth and care in all our relationships, in and out of the circle. These two dimensions need to be balanced. High-truth and low-care is called being an asshole, whereas high-care and low-truth is co-dependence. In DC we like to push our own and each other’s edges a bit more than in traditional circling, but this must be balanced with care and vulnerability.
- The invitation in all circling is to practice relational leadership, but this invitation is especially valued in DC. Leadership in circling, is done by demonstrating empathy and vulnerability.
- “Own your experience”. What this means is although it may appear that someone is doing something that is upsetting you, ultimately the fact of your being upset reveals something about you, most probably some developmental trauma, and hence is an opportunity for growth. Note that most people are not able to immediately see this or metabolize trauma the moment it occurs, our initial human reaction is almost always to blame others for our distress, and to distance, defend or counter-attack. The Circling commitment is to stay in connection to whatever extent possible. This provides the most fertile environment for growth, whatever side of the triggering you are on.
- Coaching, story-telling, even advice-giving are permissible in DC, provided they are wanted by the circlee (the person currently being circled). However, there is a shared agreement to return to in-the-moment presence and feeling-processing if tension occurs. This “circling consciousness” is the root context of DC.
- Finally, remember that usually people just need to be witnessed, or given space. This can be done silently or non-verbally, so if you do nothing but that, you will be fine. When in doubt, do nothing. Circling is more of a presence practice than a “technique” or a communication model, such as NVC.
Registration and Payment
To register you must know Marco or Scott, or else be referred by someone who does. The fee is $15/wk ($60/mth), paid monthly upfront. When the group fills, registration will close.
If you have a Paypal account: paypal.me/marcjbeneteau
If you want to pay by credit card:
You can also Venmo to @marcbeneteau (or +1 603 631-4271)